Stuck here for another day!

Oh bugger! Everyone decided I was going home today... everyone that is except Dr D'Souza.
My heart rate is quite fast.. around 100bpm. Which can mean an infection is starting, or it can mean any number of other things. It could just mean I have bugger all blood in my veins following high dose chemo and a body wracked by a week of gastric illness (which would be my bet), however the good Dr wants to play it safe and keep me in another day to be sure.
You can't hold it against him, he's only trying to keep me well.

Anyway that means another day in this place and it's barely tolerable when you're sick, but when you actually feel OK it's no fun at all. Of the last 7 weeks I have spent almost 4 of them here. But to be fair I am I guess reasonably ill. Sure today I have no feelings of nausea and feel reasonably good but if I stand up too fast I almost pass out. I can only walk about 50 metres before my heart starts racing and I feel breathless (I just tested that and it's actually once around the ward ..so maybe 80metres). This morning just having a shower left me completely worn out.

If I sit perfectly still and close my eyes it is possible to convince myself that I am completely healthy and that's important because that's my benchmark, the basis for deciding how sick I am.
So take last Sunday for instance, (assuming I was actually awake).. If I had closed my eyes and took stock of how I felt I would have been nauseous, stomach cramp, headache, dizzy, racing heart, and delirious. Not a day that I would have said I was "OK".

But today I am "OK" and that's a good thing.. I'd better go and see what mischief I can cause while I can. :-)