It's not that I've developed a phobia or that I reel back in terror when I see one, but after five years of blood tests, cannula insertions and PIC line disasters, let's say I've developed a rather well earned disdain for them.
There was the central line insertion into my neck a few years back that went so horribly wrong that it was only on the third attempt by another doctor that happened to passing the theatre, that the hard plastic tube was finally inserted into a vein. That episode left me unable to move my neck for several days and with massive bruising that lasted weeks. The hospital even had an internal inquiry that resulted in changes to the way the operation was performed.
Then there was PIC line they tried to insert into my bicep in Germany. The 12" long wire went straight through my vein at the elbow and along my bicep under the skin. It was supposed to be inside the vein.
They injected saline into the line to check it and my bicep grew! fail again. Remove line and give up.
When I was younger the veins on my arms used to stand out like a relief map of the Nile Delta.
These days they cower and hide, tiny thin lines barely visible under the skin. Blame that one on countless chemotherapy sessions.
Many people have failed to get a line or even a needle into my veins. Sometime a simple blood test can become an exercise in mental anguish both for me and the person trying to obtain a sample.
I can steel myself for one failure. Two at a pinch but after that I loose my metal and although I just sit and bare it, Internally I'm over it and stressed to the max.
However some really good nurses have done a brilliant job and with some direction from me as to a suitable site have gotten a needle in first time with no bruising or fuss. However during a blood test two weeks ago the nurse dug the needle straight through the vein and then proceeded to push it backwards and forwards about six times hoping for something to start flowing. It didn't and I had a huge black bruise on my arms for a week.
The excellent nurse at Wellington hospital blood test clinic told me this is called "Tissuing" and is the sign of a person that is not very good at what they do. She then took a blood test and hit a vein first pop, leaving just a tiny red speck where the needle entered. As it should be.
Lets move forward to last Thursday and my blood transfusion.
I got to the Cancer day ward at 10am and I figured I'd be there around 2-3 hours.
I knew that time frame was probably not going to accurate when it took nearly an hour before I was finally hooked up to a machine and a cannual inserted into the back of my hand.
It had taken the nurse two goes at putting the line in , but I figured that might be the case and had mentally braced myself for the procedure. I asked the nurse how long it would take to transfuse the two units of red blood cells. The answer was four hours. Bugger, it would be well after three before I got away. I reached for my mobile phone and started to dial my first customer. A little image of a battery flashed on the screen for a second and then it went black. Bugger! I had no way of informing my customers that I would not be able to make it that afternoon. Could the day get worse?
A couple of hours pass by and I need to use the toilet... I unplug the pump unit from the wall and it automatically switches over to battery power. The unit hangs on a wheeled coat-rack looking thing along with the blood bag. I wheel it trough the day ward and into a vacant toilet. As I'm about to leave the cubicle a felt a familiar but uncomfortable sensation in the back of my hand and I panic! It's the horrible feeling of that long cannula needle sliding out of the vein in the back of my wrist. I look down and blood is hosing out of both my hand and the plastic line that now hangs down by the floor.
Blood covers the floor and is pumping from my hand. I reach round for something to stem the flow, a paper towel does the trick. I stick my head out the toilet door look pathetically at the nearest nurse and say "umm" . She escorts me back to my seat and tells me not to worry.
The others patients around me have that look on their faces, like.. "hey wasn't he all hooked up to a machine when he left?". I sit down and wait to be attended to.
The nurse once again attempts to insert a new cannula needle and fails. Then she looks at the needle and says "It's a good thing it didn't go it" It's the wrong type!" Oh great, that really makes me feel better!
She the turns to my other hand and has a poke around there with the correct type of needle. Again she fails and she's been "tissuing" with the needle too.. straight through the vein. It's hurts like a bee sting deep in the under the skin. Mentally I'm a mess, but I put on a brave face.
She returns back to my right hand, digs some more and fails. Then back to the left hand and puts on a tourniquet tightly and starts looking for vein brave enough to pop up. Then one does. massively! The vein she just tissued hasn't sealed yet and the pressure of the tourniquet causes it to blow out. A marble sized blue lump appears on the back of my left hand. She quickly removes the elastic strap and apologises.
At this point I'm almost ready to run screaming from the room, but big boys don't do that. all I can do is scream inside, grit my teeth and sweat profusely. She returns to a spot on my other wrist, up the arm from where the last line was successfully inserted and she finds a vein. The blood flows out into the plastic tube and we both sigh. She puts on extra tape to prevent a repeat of my earlier disaster. I slump down in the lazy-boy chair and try to sleep to the rhythmic whirr of the blood pump. I fail.
By 4:30pm it was all over. The line is flushed and removed and I headed off home. Six and a half hours of my life I'd rather have not had to deal with.
Last night I had two very large handles of Jim Beam Bonded Bourbon and Coke. It's been over five years since the cap came off that bottle. Now I must say that tasted great!
Yesterday would go down as probably one of the least enjoyable days of my life.
But hey that Bourbon was pure magic!
The new blood seems to be helping with the energy levels too. I've spent most of today getting the Evo ready for Mount Vic Hillclimb next Sunday :)
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