Wellington Hospital: A great weekend getaway!

I guess I can't complain too much, It's been nearly three and a half months since I last had a needle poked into these chemo-shy veins.
There were no surprises when the young female Asian doctor couldn't find a vein, and even less surprise from me when she resorted to finally placing the cannula in the back of my hand. Some things never change.

Sooo it's back to the surreal world of chemo drugs, IV's, hospital food and boredom.
Only this time I have the added bonus of sharing my world with three other people.
I haven't had a chance to talk with any of them yet.. maybe tomorrow.
All I know is one of them is called Mr King and in the bed beside him is Mr Kong.
The other man's name escapes me. (I stopped listening after the first two names were relayed by the nurse just in case her brand of insanity was spread by aural exposure)

The foods OK, no real surprises yet. Lunch was those fake cheese sizzlers, but minus the cheese, and cut up into chunks and coated in a tomato and onion sauce. Dinner was beef stroganoff, ice-cream and jelly.
I'm guessing Mr Kong had the sans-cheese sizzlers with the onions for lunch as he has so far today managed to pass wind at what I can only describe as being of an Olympic standard. He has punctuated the air all afternoon with five second blasts of wind and noise that would put a klaxxon to shame. Sometimes he even did it mid sentence while talking to the doctors. I wonder what the medical term is for a man that talk out of both ends at once?

My doctor gave me some info sheets on the chemo drugs that they are administering.
Usually I would look up the drugs on the internet and study up on all the side effects etc. Perhaps I'll do it later because the info the hospital gives is exactly the same for all three drugs!. Hair loss, mouth ulcers,nausea, low blood counts.
However one of the drugs, Ifosfamide, has a really odd side effect.
The fact sheet states that although sperm production generally decreases with chemotherapy, some men may actually become more fertile after treatment than before! How the heck does that work? Do the little guys get really pissed off by having their
ranks wiped out and go on a recruiting drive ? Bizarre.

Another of the drugs side effects is hallucinations. The fact sheet advises that if you have any you should advise the doctor immediately. Thing is.. how would you know if you'd actually had a real hallucination? what if you just thought you had one? and what if you hallucinated that you told the doctor? and would a doctor with blue skin and eight legs know what to do in such a situation? Maybe I'll just keep them to myself for now.