I've been propping myself up for months, either with prednisone or paracetamol. I knew that I was scraping the bottom of the barrel taking steroids to get me through Targa, but it was something I just had to do. However there's just nothing left in the tank right now and even breathing is difficult. I'm not kidding!
Today was the first time I've gone through a day with no medication. The doctors wanted to let my fever run so that they could get blood samples at a time they knew I was febrile.
I don't remember a time when I have been so weak. When I got here the lift was not working so I climbed the two flights of stairs to the Blood and Cancer day ward. I could hardly breath when I got there and my heart was racing at an incredible rate.
Later on I started to cough from the air-conditioning and the act of coughing left me breathless and again my heart was racing. The whole day has been like this. This is the state of my body, I've been holding back the dam with little pink and white pills for nearly six months and there's just nothing left. Right now I feel OK because they have finally given me some paracetamol to break the fever. They took three large blood samples during the day, and it is hoped that something will grow from the blood cultures. If it does we will have the reason for my fever and illness. If nothing grows or shows up in the lab tests..? Hmm I don't know where that leaves me and to be honest the doctors don't seem to know either.
Tomorrow I have an Immunologist coming to see me, hopefully he will have some ideas.
Till tomorrow...
No comments:
Post a Comment